Deviation Title: The Once a Night Year
Category: > Literature > Prose > Fiction > Humor
Artist Comments: Challenge Words: big bang, reproduction, wood frog, orgy, 1 night/year
IB Physics Challenge:
Use Not: hot, cold, centrifugal, Legos, decelerate, slow down, speed up
Use Correctly: warm, cool, over, cancel, mass v. weight, revolve v. rotate

Don't look at me! The challenge words were on the margin of a letter sent by a friend who is in camp right now. I wonder how his story will differ from mine... ?

This is a little.... parody-spoof thing to start off July in the summer. Happy summer, everyone.

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The curtain rises...

A long, long time ago... when the universe had just begun... It started out as a spark, even smaller as the littlest quark. But all of the mass in the universe cannot stay in such a small volume for any time without increasing temperature. So the temperature rose... and rose... to unbearable heights. The numbers soared past any obtainable concept on the Kelvin scale. Mass expanded and decreased temperature in a colossal big bang. Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit and Anders Celsius never knew what hit them. But did it stop there?

Of course not. The matter condensed and formed into little pockets of matter, the temperatures lowering to life form level. The little pockets of matter, called pezzies, were able to reproduce. Their offspring and their offsprings' offspring mated until a billion sporglodites emerged littered the surface of a new terrestrial planet. Earth, they called it. The planet was abundant with earth, water, and minerals; perfect living conditions for the amphibious sporglodites.

You wouldn't know it, but sporglodites were actually the long-lost ancestors of the modern wood frog. Their mating habits have changed over the years, however. Today, there are mating seasons for each annual batch of wood frogs. Each male today can produce sounds from the depths of his soul, searching for a mate to bear little pezzies.

It wasn't like that a long, long time ago. There was an orgy. Yes, an orgy. The times were rough, so each sporglodite had no idea how long he or she was going to live. So all sporglodites came to celebrate another year lived by rutting in the swamps all over the world, hidden under swampy trees. For one night each year, the primitive, guttural sounds of sporglodites in the throes of orgasmic pleasure would echo over the land.

But that was a long time ago. Things have changed since then. The times have calmed down animalistic instincts, bans placed on sporglodites gatherings more than ten in number. Without their one night of bacchanalian revelry, all of the sporglodites died, closing the curtain... on another stage of evolution.

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The Once a Year Orgy (c) 2007 ~AnaReincarnation

Edit: I got a call from him today. Apparently, there are wood frogs that gather in these places one night per year and have orgy sex to keep the population fulfilled. The females and males mate so females can place their eggs in the center of the orgy, where there is more heat. As more and more females become impregnated, they have to lay their eggs farther and farther from the center, for which their eggs have a decreased chance of living, being farther away from the safer and higher temperature center. So much for getting laid first... !